so casually cruel in the name of being honest

"I don't love you anymore,"

Never in a million years did she expect to hear those words coming from his mouth. He was not that cruel. She hated it when he cursed, so he never really cursed. And at this moment, she swore she would rather hear him curse than hear him say those 4 words.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

It was the most painful silence she had ever experienced in her life and it was always a comfortable silence with him, not this kind of silence. She never heard silence screamed this loud before. She hated it, she hated it.

"Why?" she finally had the courage to say a word. She was in the verge of crying but she never cried in front of anyone but the person in the mirror. She was trying so hard to look okay.

"It's just... different. To be honest, I don't feel anything at all anymore. It's all gone, poof. The sparks, the butterflies, they're all gone. I never wait for out late night conversations anymore, I never wait for our next romantic dinner anymore, I never wait for your hugs and kisses anymore. I lost it all. I am sorry but I swear to God I never planned this to happen this way and honestly I've tried my best to stay in this relationship, but I can't lie to myself anymore." And it was like all the weights had been lifted up from his shoulder. Finally, he whispered.

She never thought it was the reason. She thought it was because of another girl or something else. But never that. And it hurt. She wanted to go, she wanted to disappear. It hurt.

She nodded. She couldn't find her voice and if she spoke, there was no doubt that she'd cry.

"Okay then. I can't make you change your mind, can I?" She smiled. And it was that kind of sad, giving up smile. She wanted to cry so bad, she wanted to go home and bury her head on her pillow.

"I'm sorry. It was nice spending my 4 years with you but it's over. And honestly, I think you deserve someone better. So, yeah, good bye. Have a nice life." He walked away, leaving her and her scattered heart all over the floor.

She was frozen on her feet.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

She finally let out a sob. A sob that turned to cries. Cries that turned to hysterical cries. Hysterical cries that turned to silent cries. The kind of cry that didn't have any sound. The kind of cry when you couldn't stop sobbing, when you find it so hard to breathe and you couldn't stop clutching your heart because your heart hurt so much like there was something heavy sitting on top of your heart.


It hurt. It hurt. It hurt so much. But eventually, she'd get used to the pain.