truths be told

There's something that has been bugging me a lot these past few days. The problem is, I don't even know what it is but I know there's something wrong going on within me. It's not like I am unhappy or depressed but I am not happy either. I am not enjoying whatever it is I am supposed to be enjoying. I find myself space out a lot during classes, my mind drifts away so easily. I still talk and laugh a lot but it feels different. It's like I am there with them laughing and talking but then I feel like I am not really there talking and laughing. I often find myself wanting to be alone a lot. During classes I usually bury my nose on my book, so that no one would bother me. I've been craving to be alone so much. I spend my time laying on my bed, doing nothing and thinking about nothing. I just lay there, period. My mind is empty. Blank. Nothing. And having nothing going on in your brain is worse than having so many things running through your mind. Believe me. It is bad. And to make it worse, I cannot sleep at nights. I always fall asleep at 2 am-ish these past few days. So I just lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling and my mind is empty. I feel nothing. Nothing at all. But sometimes I feel like crying because of the circumstances I am in. I mean, it's better to cry than to feel empty.

I don't know. I really don't know. And it's going to be another long night for me. And I am tired of waking up so early, doing the same routine everyday, making sure everything is done. I am tired of everything and also everyone.