So whats up? ;)
I don't know what to write... I actually have a lot to tell but I don't know how to pour them into words. I'm not good at writing especially pouring my mind into a story.
I remembered I vowed to myself that I WOULD write on this blog regularly but well...... you know what happened, promises are made to be broken :P this blog just ended up like my others 4324543543 blogs I've made. I was not kidding. I've made so many blogs I even lost counts and everytime I made one I always said "I swear that I will update this blog at least once a week. I swear this blog will be so cool and have a lot of readers" and yeah you can guess the rest.... I barely updated and I forgot my password and I made a new one and then I made the same promises and then it went on and on and on. I'm surprised I haven't forgotten my passport for this blog yet *someone please give me a standing ovation* so yeaah so much for updating regularly. Nay me! -.-
My last post here was about me being so excited because I was no longer a freshman.
screw that! I wanna go back to my freshman year! BEING SOPHOMORE IS NOT AS FUN AND COOL AS WHAT I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE!
Sure I love my new class and my
But yeah I wouldn't regret anything now, I am truly happy with my decision, it just maybe I am so used to being lazy in my freshman year and I am trying to become "less" lazy now. Hahahaha :P
and......
OH MY FREAKING GOD I AM 16 YEARS OLD NOW I AM SO HAPPY YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA!!!
Yep I'm 16. sixteen. its cool, isn't it?
but I don't wanna grow up..... I'm happy and sad at the same time.I really don't want to leave my "teen" world. I just want to stay young forever. I can't imagine myself 2 years later... I will face my college life, no longer wear my school's uniform, no longer have my friends there, away from my parents and brothers, live in my own place.... It'll be just me, myself and I. Just to think about it make me wanna scream out loud. But sometimes I think I would look so cool to walk alone in my campus dressing like a mature girl ;P
There will be no ends when it comes to the college life's talks.
Will I still have my high school's bestfriends 2 years later? I don't know. No one knows. But I do hope that I still have them as my bestfriends because as they say "its really hard to find a true friend when you're in college, everyone seems so individualistic" and as what they say again "its not the person who changes, its the time that changes a person" I'm afraid that everyone I know and can count on will change into the person that is very...... different. I'm afraid they will change into the person they promised they won't. And even worse, I'm afraid that they'll turn their back on me. My thoughts sometimes can scare me and eat me alive.
And then after college.... the real life will begin.
I will have a job. I'll go to work everyday, I'll have so much work to do, I'll be stressing out even more. I'll have my own family and kids(hopefully)
It just seems so unrealistic and scary. Adulthood is crazy. I can't picture myself getting older. I don't wanna grow up.
I remember my 7 years-old-self back then, wanting nothing but growing up soon. I remember saying "I can't wait until I turn 17! it'll be so cooooooooooool! I'll have my own phone!"
but now when I am 16, I want nothing but going back to my childhood. But teenager is awesome but sometimes it gets so..... I don't now tiring, maybe? and there's a lot of drama that I'm so sick of. Life is a tricky thing. When you're young you can't wait to get older and when you're older, you want to be young again.
Sadly I know that I can't stop growing up. Everyone can't stop it unless someone can make a time machine which I think is impossible. So I learn to make the most of it. Enjoy the present and don't worry about the future, because its not ours to see! Just wait and let the universe surprises you and let God do the magic ;-)
Talking about futures... I really want to get a schoolarship to Australia, I don't even know why. I've been dreaming to go to the college in Australia ever since I was only 13 years old. I want to go to University of Queensland in Brisbane. But I don't know if I could. I mean a lot of students from ALL AROUND THE WORLD will do their best to study there and there's me here in Indonesia... only studying when I have a test tomorrow or when I have homeworks :-)
And than I want to work as a ambassador in the USA or Australia. And than I wanna travel the world, I wanna go to Paris and see the Eiffel Tower, I wanna go to Los Angeles, I wanna go to Canada, I wanna go New York I wanna go to everywhere in this world.
I can proudly say that I have a lot of big crazy dreams and I'm still trying to reach my dreams one by one, even though maybe some of my dreams are too big and crazy that it is so impossible to come true, one of them is me wanting to be a president. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
But what is the point of dreaming if you don't dream big? Even the wildest dream in this world can come true
:-)
Soo, that's it. I'm done! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Much love,
Salma<3
whatever will A will A ;]
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