Um, hi,
it's been a while and I lost my diary that I left here and right now I'm feeling so many kind of emotions that are so alien to me and I really need to tell everything to someone and I don't think writing it down would be enough. I don't know whom I should talk to because it'll be so awkward and I don't think they'd understand. No one would really understand you unless they've been through what you've been through.
And I don't know what to write because sometimes, there are feelings that you can't write down into words, feelings that are so strange and you couldn't describe them in words and all you can do is feel, feel and feel. Feelings that are completely new and weird and you feel like there isn't a word good enough or bad enough to describe that feeling. Like you know the feeling is alive inside of you but you don't know what that is. And that feeling keeps growing bigger and bigger and bigger and suddenly that feeling is already filling up all your heart and then one day you feel it exploding so hard like a bomb from the inside of you and it hurts so bad but no one can see it, because its inside of you, killing you from the inside but you can feel it so clearly and you want to scream out loud and ask for help but no one would understand, no one would notice the pain you're in. But you feel it. You feel it. And you just want whatever it is to stop eating you from the inside.

Stop.