Silly old me

I've always been so fascinated with love stories ever since I was a kid reading a Little Mermaid story. Until now, I  still find myself addicted to a happy ending love story. My bookshelf is filled with romance books, it's like I could never get bored reading the same description over and over again, the same cliché line about butterflies, sparks, and goosebumps. It's all like that on every love story and yet, I still smile and swoon at the idea of how love should be.

I damn well know that love in real life doesn't even feel half as good as what those stories told me, so I read books instead. I thought that maybe if I couldn't experience a love like that, then I'd bury myself with the idea of it.

When I was a kid, my mom read me all sort of princess stories and I grew up believing that love was the greatest feeling anyone could ever had. I grew up believing that every girl was a princess with a tiara. As a kid, I was so obsessed with love. And now, I've become pessimistic about love. When I was in my first year of junior high, I saw my senior being cheated on. I saw my friend cried her heart out over a boy who dumped her. I saw my bestfriend getting her heart broken by the boy who stole her first kiss. I've grown old enough to know that the concept of love I read is an impossible thing. A lie to keep a kid's mind happy and optimistic while living in this sad world where love is so close to being extinct.

That's why I still read all those love stories after all these time. Because in real life, love doesn't exist and in fantasy world, love exists. If love cannot be great in this real world, at least there is a fantasy world where love could stand tall and that is a place where I would love to stay.

Or maybe I read all those books because there's still a little part of me who's dying to feel like Cinderella. A little part of me who doesn't really grow up and is still hoping to be swept off of her feet. A little part of me who expects too high about love and people. A little part of me who still thinks that love can conquer it all.

A silly part of me.