a part of me tells me to give up and the other part tells me to continue
But this time, I guess I wouldn't interfere

How?

I told myself to never fall in love again,

maybe a 6

"'On a scale of one to ten how sad are you'

you almost say seven but the answer floats in your lungs like rising mud. you shift your shoulders. some part of you is already forming an excuse. that it’s not that bad sometimes. one, two, three on a day that the clouds are out. you’re just complaining about stuff. yesterday you laughed past a brick of a four, does that make the brick come down to a two-point-five.  the solid seven panic attack of last Tuesday feels somehow like a little thorn, just a regular day full of a gentle three-point-nine earthquake rocking after yesterday’s close-to-an-eight. see but if tomorrow you have a real bad day, it will make today look simple.

Spilling the beans

I'm so tired of having the urge to cry every night, even though I have told myself so many times not to cry, I still cry anyway, over what people say stupid things.

Enjoying the show?

It's 7 am in the mornin'
Wake up and put my mask on

Being so disgusted and hateful with yourself, both physically and psychologically, is definitely.... stressful.

12.44 am

There are so many things in me that I hate, that I wish I could throw away. From my selfishness, my ego, my size of pride to my stubbornness.

But then again, there are too many parts of me that I hate and if I throw them all away, what would be left of me?

After all, my bad traits and habits are what made me, me.

Things I tell myself over and over again

It's okay to scream so loud,
It's okay to cry in silence,
It's okay to be mad at the world,
It's okay to feel like everything is fucked up,