tied together with a smile :)

Tied Together With A Smile by Taylor Swift probably describes what I really feel right now. It's not like I'm 24/7 sad but when I arrived at my room and I have nothing to do, (even though I have so many homework to do) and I just lay there on my bed staring at the ceiling, that's when I remember all my problems that I tried so very hard to forget at the day. They all come to me like a freaking bulldozer that wants to hit me and then push me off of a cliff. And they are all just suddenly on my head chanting "think about me think about me think about all your ploblems!!! Because newsflash bitch, your problems are not going to solve themselves alone!! MWAHAHAHAHA ENJOY US"

I am going crazy with all this thoughts. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!! 

Oh my God. I need to sort myself out. I need to stop feeling like this. I need to stop crying. I need to forget. I am stronger than this. Or maybe I am not. Or maybe I am weak. Maybe I need someone to be strong for me. Oh wait, maybe I need my family to be strong. Ha, jokes on me. 

I hate the silence in my room. It makes the devils inside my head scream and I need them to stop screaming but it looks like they are once again winning the battle inside my head. They probably cheated. I mean how can they always win? 

Whatever, these thoughts only come at nights, though. When the sun shines, I would probably be able to tie my lips into a smile again. 

"And no one knows that you cry but you don't tell anyone that you might not be the golden one and you tied together with a smile but you're coming undone."

:)



Damn it.