July 18, 2018.
Dear diary,
Today has been so exhausting! School ended up late today because mr. mcqueen wanted us all to continue practicing our dialog for the school's drama performance next month! Anyway, I got to play as the main lead!!! Which is so exciting! Mom was so happy when she knew about this that she even bought a new camera to record me on the stage!
But the practice didn't even go well! Some boys were just playing around and they didn't even remember their lines! Boys were so annoying! Why couldn't they behave? I had to repeat my lines over and over again because toby kept messing up his lines! Ugh. I wish I could go to all-girls school just like katie but mom said it was expensive :(((
After the practice, I had to wait for 1 hour before mom picked me mom because she had a flat tire and she needed to replace it. Aaaand you know what else happen??? There was an accident and it made us stuck on a long traffic!!! Ugh!! And I have a lot of homewooorkkkk. I'm so tireeed. I couldn't wait until I grow up and turn 18 like my sister so I could drive my own car and go everywhere I like!
But when I tell my sister I wanted to grow up and be pretty like her, she got so sad. She said I should enjoy my childhood and not wish to grow up. She said being a teenager was so tiring and exhausting and she wished she could just stop existing. I didn't know what she meant because I am only 7.
Everytime I told her I wanted to be like her, she laughed and told me I shouldn't grow up and be like her. I asked her why and she said it was because she was ugly mentally exhausted all the time. I didn't know what mentally exhausted meant, but she was not ugly, she was so pretty, I wanted to be like her. I know what exhausted meant so I guess mentally exhausted wasn't that bad, right? I mean, I feel so exhausted after a long day at school so I think I could handle mentally exhausted. I'll ask mom about it.
---
July 25, 2018
Dear diary,
Today I found my sister drinking a lot of pills. When I asked her whether she was sick or not, she said she was fine and just tired because she couldn't get enough sleep last night. But she looked sick. She looked like she lost a lot of weight and she looked so pale. I was so worried. I didn't like it when my family got sick :(((
I wanted to call mom or dad but josie said she was really fine and she just needed to sleep early. And she did sleep early because she skipped dinner and I told mom and dad that josie was just so tired and exhausted because of school.
I was sad because josie couldn't help me do my math homework. My sister was so good at math. She said math made her feel focused. I told her math made me want to bang my head on the wall.
Anyway, drama practice went well today! toby and other boys finally managed to remember their lines! We were finally getting somewhere! I can't wait to finally perform next month!
---
August 18, 2018.
Dear diary,
The drama went bad. My parents didn't show up because josie was so sick and she was rushed to the hospital. When I got to the hospital, she was sleeping and there was this beeping sound coming from a monitor beside her. There were also a lot of cuts on her wrist that looked so bad.
Today I learned what mentally exhausted meant. Dad told me I should've told him or mom about josie and her pills. About her being so exhausted all the that she wanted to stop existing.
Today I hated Josie. It was because of her that mom and dad didn't show up. And she even made mom cried! But I loved josie, too. She was my sister and sisters should stick together and she promised me to teach me how to wear make-up. I wanted her to be fine and I wanted her to stop being mentally exhausted. I wanted her to bake me cookies again.
Today I also made a promise that I didn't want to be like josie anymore. I didn't want to be mentally exhausted like her. Because I think it's bad and I don't want to sleep at the hospital and I don't want to have ugly red scars on my wrists.
Dear diary,
Today has been so exhausting! School ended up late today because mr. mcqueen wanted us all to continue practicing our dialog for the school's drama performance next month! Anyway, I got to play as the main lead!!! Which is so exciting! Mom was so happy when she knew about this that she even bought a new camera to record me on the stage!
But the practice didn't even go well! Some boys were just playing around and they didn't even remember their lines! Boys were so annoying! Why couldn't they behave? I had to repeat my lines over and over again because toby kept messing up his lines! Ugh. I wish I could go to all-girls school just like katie but mom said it was expensive :(((
After the practice, I had to wait for 1 hour before mom picked me mom because she had a flat tire and she needed to replace it. Aaaand you know what else happen??? There was an accident and it made us stuck on a long traffic!!! Ugh!! And I have a lot of homewooorkkkk. I'm so tireeed. I couldn't wait until I grow up and turn 18 like my sister so I could drive my own car and go everywhere I like!
But when I tell my sister I wanted to grow up and be pretty like her, she got so sad. She said I should enjoy my childhood and not wish to grow up. She said being a teenager was so tiring and exhausting and she wished she could just stop existing. I didn't know what she meant because I am only 7.
Everytime I told her I wanted to be like her, she laughed and told me I shouldn't grow up and be like her. I asked her why and she said it was because she was ugly mentally exhausted all the time. I didn't know what mentally exhausted meant, but she was not ugly, she was so pretty, I wanted to be like her. I know what exhausted meant so I guess mentally exhausted wasn't that bad, right? I mean, I feel so exhausted after a long day at school so I think I could handle mentally exhausted. I'll ask mom about it.
---
July 25, 2018
Dear diary,
Today I found my sister drinking a lot of pills. When I asked her whether she was sick or not, she said she was fine and just tired because she couldn't get enough sleep last night. But she looked sick. She looked like she lost a lot of weight and she looked so pale. I was so worried. I didn't like it when my family got sick :(((
I wanted to call mom or dad but josie said she was really fine and she just needed to sleep early. And she did sleep early because she skipped dinner and I told mom and dad that josie was just so tired and exhausted because of school.
I was sad because josie couldn't help me do my math homework. My sister was so good at math. She said math made her feel focused. I told her math made me want to bang my head on the wall.
Anyway, drama practice went well today! toby and other boys finally managed to remember their lines! We were finally getting somewhere! I can't wait to finally perform next month!
---
August 18, 2018.
Dear diary,
The drama went bad. My parents didn't show up because josie was so sick and she was rushed to the hospital. When I got to the hospital, she was sleeping and there was this beeping sound coming from a monitor beside her. There were also a lot of cuts on her wrist that looked so bad.
Today I learned what mentally exhausted meant. Dad told me I should've told him or mom about josie and her pills. About her being so exhausted all the that she wanted to stop existing.
Today I hated Josie. It was because of her that mom and dad didn't show up. And she even made mom cried! But I loved josie, too. She was my sister and sisters should stick together and she promised me to teach me how to wear make-up. I wanted her to be fine and I wanted her to stop being mentally exhausted. I wanted her to bake me cookies again.
Today I also made a promise that I didn't want to be like josie anymore. I didn't want to be mentally exhausted like her. Because I think it's bad and I don't want to sleep at the hospital and I don't want to have ugly red scars on my wrists.
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